You would not believe your eyes.

The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t want to ever forget that.

- The Notebook

Don’t love and lie.

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken, do you say
Do you mean what you say
I want our love to last forever.

I rather you be mean, than love and lie
I’d rather hear the truth, and have to say goodbye
I’d rather take a blow, at least then I would know
But baby, don’t you break my heart slow.

- Don’t you break my heart slow, Vonda Sheperd

Protected: I rather you be mean, than love and lie.

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“

I like you and I know why.
I like you because you are a good person to like.
I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it’s special
And you remember it a long, long time.
You say, Remember when you told me something special
And both of us remember

When I think something is important
you think it’s important too
We have good ideas

When I say something funny, you laugh
I think I’m funny and you think I’m funny too
Hah-hah!

I like you because you know where I’m ticklish
And you don’t tickle me there except just a little tiny bit sometimes
But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too

You know how to be silly
That’s why I like you
Boy are you ever silly
I never met anybody sillier than me till I met you
I like you because you know when it’s time to stop being silly
Maybe day after tomorrow
Maybe never
Too late, it’s a quarter past silly

Sometimes we don’t say a word
We snurkle under fences
We spy secret places

If I am a goofus on the roofus hollering my head off
You are one too
If I pretend I am drowning, you pretend you are saving me
If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag,
then you are getting ready to jump
HOORAY

That’s because you really like me
You really like me, don’t you
And I really like you back
And you like me back and I like you back
And that’s the way we keep on going every day

If you go away, then I go away too
or if I stay home, you send me a postcard
You don’t just say Well see you around sometime, bye
I like you a lot because of that
If I go away, I send you a postcard too

And I like you because if we go away together
And if we are in Grand Central Station
And if I get lost
Then you are the one that is yelling for me

And I like you because when I am feeling sad
You don’t always cheer me up right away
Sometimes it is better to be sad
You can’t stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute
You want to think about things
It takes time

I like you because if I am mad at you
Then you are mad at me too
It’s awful when the other person isn’t
They are so nice and hoo-hoo you could just about punch them in the nose

I like you because if I think I am going to throw up
then you are really sorry
You don’t just pretend you are busy looking at the birdies and all that
You say, maybe it was something you ate
You say, the same thing happened to me one time
And the same thing did

If you find two four-leaf clovers, you give me one
If I find four, I give you two
If we only find three, we keep on looking
Sometimes we have good luck, and sometimes we don’t

If I break my arm, and if you break your arm too
Then it’s fun to have a broken arm
I tell you about mine, you tell me about yours
We are both sorry
We write our names and draw pictures
We show everybody and they wish they had a broken arm too

I like you because I don’t know why but
Everything that happens is nicer with you
I can’t remember when I didn’t like you
It must have been lonesome then

I like you because because because
I forget why I like you but I do
So many reasons
On the 4th of July I like you because it’s the 4th of July
On the fifth of July, I like you too

If you and I had some drums and some horns and some horses
If we had some hats and some flags and some fire engines
We could be a HOLIDAY
We could be a CELEBRATION
We could be a WHOLE PARADE
See what I mean?

Even if it was the 999th of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
Even if it was no place particular in January
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again
That’s how it would happen every time

I don’t know why
I guess I don’t know why I really like you
Why do I like you
I guess I just like you
I guess I just like you because I like you.

”

- Sandol Stoddard Warburg, I Like You

8 letters, 3 words.

I’ve never blogged an entry about what was really happening in my love life since Matthew left my life in 2007.

Everytime I blog in order to just express my thoughts or have an outlet to pen down my feelings, I get confronted by him and he runs me down like a train wreck. I could never give him the answer he wanted, nor did I know what he wanted. Everytime I said something, it coming from what I thought, he would rebuke me so bad I would cringe away from the laptop screen. Questions would come from all directions, and when I tried to answer, more questions would come. Often, they would come with harsh emotions.

I don’t know what’s the point of writing all that, but I guess in a way, it feels familiar now. That feeling of not being able to come up with a correct answer.

I’m not trying to blame anyone. If there’s anyone to blame, it would be me. For being so gullible in believing in him.

But you.

You brought me out of his shadow, finally. You brought me out of many shadows. And when I say I’m happy with you, I truly am. It doesn’t matter how often we quarrel, or how often I assume which leads to a miscommunication with you. Every couple goes through that, no?

I’ve never known a peace like when I wake up, and the first thing I see is your sleeping face.

You’re logical, I’m illogical.

You plan your way through life, I prance my way around.

You’re a huge oak tree, while I’m the wind going anywhere I please.

Opposite poles, with only one thing in common.

I love you, and I know that you love me.

We can make this work, and you said to me last night that you believe that we could last. It’s only been almost 3 months, and we have so much longer to figure things out.

I know I need to change, but it’d take time. Please say you’ll wait. I know the fighting is horrible, and I know that you find it hard to figure me out. I’m complicated, but that’s probably because I overcomplicate things and think too much, which is another problem of mine.

I’m going in all directions in this. I know I have a problem in giving straight answers. Even my dad thinks so.

I’ll change, baby.

I’m sorry if I’m always so confusing to you, causing you so much grief. I bet even this blog entry is confusing to you.

__

P.S. I don’t wanna be a pain in a ass, but I still have the phobia of being rebuked.

Dreams: Part (IDK)

My dreams of late have been disturbing.

Keep dreaming about my dad, for some weird reason.

The first dream was sketchy, but I woke up crying. I was screaming at my dad for divorcing with my mom, and then never being around to talk to us.

The second dream was pretty bad on my side. I dreamt that he passed away, and life was going on as per usual. It was abit scary; felt like I was watching myself from a third-person’s P.O.V. And I actually felt scared. Like, who was this person, so emotionless to the death of someone that’s supposed to be one of the most important people in your life?

Don’t know la. Weird dreams.

I hate to wake up to say goodbye.

Yoshi! (:

RAWR.

Wish list.

I WANTTTTT.

The angels you need are never there.

Woot! Study break week was totally awesome!

Yin’s godsis, Caroline, came over to visit. So I actually did something other than lazing around at ‘home’. Went to Caversham Wildlife park, and it was damn funny. We got lost, and also got high during the trip. Yin and I were trying to talk with a cup over our mouth. HAHAHA. Machiam choking.

AND AND AND.

WE SAW THE CUTEST BABY RABBIT EVER.

Oh shit, not this one.

.

.

.

.

.

 

SO CUTE RIGHT?? DO YOU KNOW HOW TINY IT ACTUALLY IS?

Zomg. It’s so small. So poor thing ): It’s lost from its mama. I think Yin has a video of it. Hmm.

Haiya, I think I have alot of things to blog about. It’s just that, I didn’t blog after the stuff happened. So I can’t really remember the good stuff. Ah well.

Picture = A thousand words

3 pictures = 3000 words.

Ok very good.

Bye.

OH.MM.GEE.

OH WAIT OH WAIT OH WAIT.

I READ THIS ‘LIFE MOTTO’ SOMEWHERE.

‘LOVE LIFE, GET PAID AND GET LAID.’

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.